By The wind tore at my dress, my hair, my soul. In the inky blackness of the night, my toes at the edge of the cliff, I could feel the earth begging to give way beneath me. Thunder shook my body, my heart reverberated the sound in an effort to keep me alive. A bright flash of lightening displayed the chasm below. Silence… The storm around had nothing to compare with the storm that screamed inside my being.
Tears found their way down the ravine, tripping over rocks that had been hurled my way. Each stone wore a different name yet caused the same anguish as their rough and jagged edges left bleeding gashes on my soul.
The last asperous stone that tore me was just a fragment of the stone I used to harbor myself. I bore it, added to it, knowing that if I carried it life would be easier… easier for him. When the stone became too heavy, weighted down by his actions and choices that I had so loyally taken on, I had to lay it down. I placed it there gently, between love and my broken heart, trying desperately to soften it with my tears, hoping, praying he would see how he had added to it unjustly, making it impossible for one person to shoulder.
I removed the sections that were mine, for they are mine to keep. With the last breath of strength I had left, I climbed the mountain in front of me, dragging along my own brokenness.
“This isn’t mine!!” He screamed at my back as he hammered off shards with his mallet of pride, tossing them with a hand of anger. Each malign choice he had made that he didn’t want to claim, he innately had placed on me. Now he, being left with the raw ugly truth, was overwhelmed and frantically searched for a way to destroy it.
Though breaking it to pieces made it look smaller, the number of cruel choices was still the same. All rolled together, or spread out for the world to see, they are his and his they will remain.
Closing my eyes, I let the wind whip my tear stained cheeks. Dirt from the chaos below slashed my skin, driving in again that hopeless feeling… the forlorn echo of my call for truce was met with another crag. The blow was hard, I stumbled. My foot slipped over the edge as another rock came spinning. Hitting its mark, driving me blind, it caused me to lose my balance. Falling… following my tears, breaking on each rock that had ever been thrown. Confusion, pain and agony rushed through my veins as I struggled my way back to the top.
Each time he trods on a sharp fragment of that stone, cutting his own flesh, in fury he casts it on me. Hoping my blood will stick to his blame, making it mine. Does he not realize that possession lies in the hands that threw it? True, I have touched it for I carried it so long but the making of it will forever be on his head.
The dress of my vows, tattered, torn, ripped and ridiculed by the vicious contentions he had spewed, was beyond repair. The washing with tears had not cleaned a single blemish, the mending with daily love had not yielded relief. Even in the midst of the brightest flash of light, which brightens all, the satin still manifested what had spoiled it. Limp, lifeless, hopeless… Tarnished and very unlovely, I put it to rest… buried under stones of his bitter choices… in a chasm filled with his blame. My blame I will take with me… the blame of taking on too heavy a burden that any person should know they can’t carry forever…
Tomorrow's Horizon 