Between The Fence Posts & The Barbed Wire…

Those times… when I slip back into the past seeking comfort from a familiar nook, an often seen view, a new sunset over old mountains miles away yet engraved deep inside my soul… in those times I seek for something that can’t be found…

It’s not exactly pain my heart tries to escape but more like emptiness… running from a silence so piercingly loud it shatters every calm… a void that I don’t necessarily want filled but desperately want erased… a vacancy that when I have allowed it to become filled with care only lasts but for a fleeting moment it seems before it is replaced with overwhelming sadness…

On the heels of betrayal comes the war to rid my heart of the pain… fighting through battles of bitterness, anger, confusion and great distrust until finally reaching the pinnacle, escaping it all on wings of self preservation to return to the valley of emptiness…

As time passes. the relief of emptiness fades into discontentment… and then to seeking an escape from a feeling that cannot be destroyed but only replaced.

The oldest of comforts cannot cause the emptiness to vanish, for their purpose was only to ease pain. And pain can only be replaced with one of two things; love or emptiness.

So between the fence posts and the barbed wire I’ll be content… with the emptiness…