8 Years Ago Today…

The girl in the picture here… she popped up in memories today…
On this day 8 years ago, she knelt down in a big field of pretty pink flowers, blue mountains behind her, sunshine everywhere, a warm wind touched her face, her baby nestled in her arms… She smiled at the camera… it was Sunday…
8 year’s ago today, she had 5 days left… her heart was collapsing… her soul drowning… her mind scattered…
8 years ago today, she had a 3 year old, a 2 year old and this baby here… she was a wife and mother…
8 years ago today, she knew she had to leave… leave a life she had worked so hard to build… walking through a house that would only be hers for 5 more days, she could feel her heart shattering into a thousand pieces… and those pieces cutting through the last 4 years of blurring pain… memories racing down old paths in her mind like scattering leaves in a hurricane… some whispering, some screaming… some comforting, some accusing… all of them colliding in a massive landslide of doom and terror… she reached out to touch the lace curtains as the wind chime sang again the song of goodbye… outside her bedroom window the pine trees swayed, dancing in unison… their sweet scent drifting through the screen… she closed her eyes… the sound of breaking glass crashed through her mind leaving her reeling in a world of confusion… the dishes that had held so many of her dreams in years passed…
8 years ago today, you had no idea the agony this girl was going through… she became numb to it herself at times…
On the outside she pretended it was just another summer day… but on the inside she frantically spent the hours rummaging through the ashes of unkept promises trying to find a shred of something that felt like love… she found nothing…
His words echoed… stabbing again with fresh cruelty… glances from that morning haunted her… a slammed door… the love she had poured was emptied out in disgust of its contents… mocked for its sincerity… despised for its truth… she had offered her heart and begged for it to be held tenderly but a callous mishandling and brutal negligence before completely discarding it was all he could afford…
Tears again from the ocean of emptiness deep inside pushed through tightly shut eyelids… those rivers of bitter grief ran down her face, landing gently on the soft hair of her sleeping child… she wept…
The weight of guilt crushed her… if only she could have loved him enough to save him… if only her love would have been enough… if only he had loved her…
8 years ago today… she was so incredibly lost… lost in a place that felt familiar now… the gnawing of starvation and the never-ending pretense of being full and happy… an empty shell of a girl who used to be so full of beautiful things… did she have anything left to even give her children… the desire to run and hide tore at her… she wanted to take her babies and find peace somewhere… stillness… a place to breathe again… a place to be alive… a place to rest…
But the battle hadn’t even begun… it was still in front of her… for she had not yet fought, but simply endured… endured this living death…
8 years ago today…
She smiled at the camera…
It was Sunday…

I’m not asking for you to feel sorry for her… you should see how much she has rebuilt from those ashes!
But today, love her with me, please! Hold her in your heart for a bit if you can… She tried, she loved, she hurt, she healed…
She carried those babies through fire and storm, she takes care of them with a heart that bares all the scars of the past… love pours from the pain she holds… the tears she has cried watered all the wildflowers God planted in her heart…
I’m not asking you to understand, just love that girl in the picture for a minute! ❤️