The girl in the picture here… she popped up in memories today…On this day 8 years ago, she knelt down in a big field of pretty pink flowers, blue mountains behind her, sunshine everywhere, a warm wind touched her face, her baby nestled in her arms… She smiled at the camera… it was Sunday…8 year’s
Category: Pain and Struggle
Fighting through the constant tears that fall from my broken heart as I watch my children fight battles that are too big for them… Knowing God has such an incredible plan for their lives, but my mama heart can’t stop hurting as I watch the ways their strength has to grow… Closing my eyes, I
She was crying… hot tears falling fast as jumbled words tried to explain the reason… her little heart was simply overwhelmed and now overflowing… I wrapped my arms around her, held her super close, my lips brushing her hair until she could smile again… After a while of letting it rain, she looked up at
Bent by stormy winds, the wilted sunflower struggled to bare the few raindrops that had fallen on her soft petals. Her colors still vibrant, looking like sunshine itself yet portraying a sadness that comes from lacking the very thing that would keep her alive; water. She had been offered an abundance of water at first
I sat down at the piano with a few thoughts… Axil sat down next to me with big tears rolling down his cheeks… He asked if the new song could have something to do with Papa Dave and have the words “you here with me” “I sure miss him…” he said… 💔 Here’s what we
“I hate you!” I screamed into the hot stale air of the cab. Tears making the dirty windshield even harder to see through. Sweat running down my chest, my fist throbbing from beating the steering wheel… My arm burning on the metal truck side, but I didn’t care… the smell of smoke in the air,
For the ones we never got to hold… A Lullaby 1. Before I got to say hello, I had to say goodbye I’ll never see your precious face or hear you little cry I long to kiss your soft hair and watch you take first stepsForever now a memory your tiny body rests Cho. May
I went to a rodeo last weekend. The announcer was going on and on about how this one cowboy lucked out and got the best bull. By best, he meant the rankest, meanest, wildest, gonna-kill-ya bull in the whole rodeo. Why was the cowboy lucky? Why would a rotten bull be sought after? Marble gray,
Those moments when the past comes flooding in again… I was searching for something… my old hatchet to show my son. I knew exactly what box it was in but I couldn’t find the box! In my searching though I stumbled across my hope chest… the one I had filled with apple dishes, towels I
For my Grandma Roxie, in loving memory of Papa Dave. I’ll never forget sitting there watching the most beautiful, painful, heart breaking moment as Grandma held him a little longer and loved him a little more. Those words will forever be in my heart and that picture in my mind! That kind of love is
The wind beckons her to fly but there’s no where to go…A soul abandoned, suspended in time, tired but no place to rest… Bitterness and sorrow fighting a battle about which one caused the death of peace…Sorrow being the older of the two, bitterness the stronger… Dark clouds with no rain…A river of dry tears…Oceans
My favorite style of writing is for those who feel deeper than the ocean mentioned, have endured greater storms than those depicted. Those who have drowned countless times in the sea of aching loneliness and those who’s hearts can read the body language of the ghostly figures that dance between the lines of written word.
I timed it once actually… the exact amount of time… the time I deliberately took out of my day to take a face I love in my hands, look into those beautiful eyes, kiss the lips and forehead of the one I admire beyond measure, whisper I love you and wrap my arms around them
Next to You… 1. Do you wish to be alone or shall I sit here next to you? Do you want only your tears falling or should mine keep them company too? Can I hold your heart while it’s breaking or do you need to feel it all inside?Would the agony be less if you
We all find ourselves listlessly sitting on the sand watching the waves of life wash away bits of memories we love… Sometimes it’s a person we held close, sometimes it’s one we never touched but always loved, sometimes it’s someone we never met, but wished we could find… We all miss someone… ❤️ And we
‘Person, place or thing’ you ask… Looking back I would have said ‘place’… far away nestled in some mountain nook, by a quiet stream, waiting to be discovered… Farther back perhaps I would have even said ‘thing’… from years gone by, used and worn, full of memories and stories, retold only in bits of rust
Wind inside my soul blows gently, turning the pages of the past. Flipping tenderly through memories I held so softly in my hands while whispering an echo of the song my heart sang through those times. Storms and calm, rain and sunshine, warmth and cold, hard and soft, so many mountains, then down through the
I’m Drowning… I’m drowning again today, like I was yesterday and the day beforeWith a smile on my face I greet the world and try once more 1. The battle inside is fought between what I think and what I feelThe side of me that wants to give up and the side that wants to
I Don’t Believe in Love Anymore… 1. Through a field of poppies I wanna watch the sun sink low Over the mountains, colors changing as she goes I want you right beside me, so I’ll never be aloneBut I’d have to trust again and I don’t know if I can, maybe those wings aren’t meant
I looked up into the cottonwood and saw myself today…Holding on to old things and ways that have died…I can see how they were beautiful once but they’ve since lost their color and life…And yet I still cling to them…In fear of nothing growing in their place I guess…Or maybe just because they’re familiar…Something I
I’m Not Ready to Let Go… 1. He said in his big boy voice, I wanna sleep alone So trucking down the hall my heart broke with how he’s grownDidn’t take long and I heard his feet pitter patter coming backBut my happy heart didn’t last long, he tossed his blanket “Mama, I don’t need
In loving memory of my sweet angel baby… ❤️ Butterfly The gentle ray of Sunshine I almost knewMy precious angel baby, how dearly I love you! You’d be 4 years old now, and what a beautiful girlYou’d take up such a great big part of my tiny little world! I long to hear your laughter
The story of the woman caught in adultery… John 8:1-11 My heart was racing faster than my feet As I gathered my clothes and fled down the street But soon enough they caught me and soon enough they brought me before the leaders to be slain But why was I alone in this shame… He
Long gone wishes…. and dying dreams… they fade away on unseen wings… What once was young and full of all the best things has slipped away, just a dying dream… 1. In my hands I hold what’s left of a life I never had I cling to things that are breaking me the best and
Those times… when I slip back into the past seeking comfort from a familiar nook, an often seen view, a new sunset over old mountains miles away yet engraved deep inside my soul… in those times I seek for something that can’t be found… It’s not exactly pain my heart tries to escape but more
Down the path my memories take me, retracing steps made long ago.Recalling the future of yesterday’s hope and the past of tomorrow’s road. My heart has been restless carrying bits and pieces of everything gathered along the way.Smiles and laughter, the pain felt after a goodbye that I wanted to stay. I can’t let go
I Wanted To Be Like Mary 1. I was young and precious with a future bright and clear. The voice of my sweet Jesus was the one I longed to hear. But I let the world around me drown out His call. So it wasn’t long before I hid my faith and began to fall…
I see you sitting there all alone with chin cupped in your handThe mountains of love and care in your soul making rivers from eyes to sand Words and actions, some kind some cruel, combine as each chases the lastDown to the shore where waves of emotion reach out to catch the tears or your
Sitting on the arm of an old chair, I stared at the dust bunnies on the floor. They fluttered with every passing movement, formless and ugly, transparent dirt, the result of… nothing really. They just gather together in ignored dark corners little by little as time passes… Not one person had intentionally put them there.
I took a deep breath knowing it was time… Time to take another step, reach out for the next journey, yet just the thought of it caused old wounds I was sure had healed to break open… just this one last time. Closing my eyes I drifted back… the sparrow’s song floating through an open
The wind tore at my dress, my hair, my soul. In the inky blackness of the night, my toes at the edge of the cliff, I could feel the earth begging to give way beneath me. Thunder shook my body, my heart reverberated the sound in an effort to keep me alive. A bright flash
I watched in terror as they bound his hands and led him like a lamb to the slaughter Down the street, he turned and looked at me, I hit my knees and cried to God, “NO, FATHER!!!” In that moment while time stood still, my mind rushed back to when he was a boy… The
I was standing behind the counter when she walked in the door. I said “Hello, how are ya?” and when she turned to respond that’s when I noticed… how absolutely beautiful, clear, and glowing her skin was. It appeared to be the finest porcelain. How an angel would look I imagined! Jealousy stabbed at my
Tucked up in comfort and warmth, peacefully I slept. From all the harm and hurt of this world I was safely kept. I wiggled my toes, stretched out my arms and faithfully practiced my smile. I jumped in excitement at the sound of her voice then listened intently for a while. Her heartbeat was my
I was awake but couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes. Warm sunshine fluttered its way in through the open window accompanied by the heavy scent of pine and wild roses. The morning breeze beckoned… I arose… My heart was weary from crying all night. My soul tired from the struggle. My mind beaten by
Angry tears found their way from my fastly shut eyelids. The heavy drops mingling with sweat from my brow, forming a river that cascaded down my face, my neck, my chest… Soaking my shirt as I sat on the dirty floor holding my tormented head in my shaking hands. One choked sob gave way to
When I share with you what happened, when I tell you where I’ve been I’m not looking for your sympathy, I’m confiding in my friend To bare my broken heart is not that easy to do It’s hard putting into words exactly what I lived through To say what went on when no one could
How Cruel It Was That He Should Thrive In The Sea of My Sorrow, While I Died A Little More Each Day…
Far off in the distance, golden sunbeams kissed waves as they splashed up on the beach. The warm sand led up to gentle grasses where flowers bloomed and trees flourished. It was the perfect day, really and I could have enjoyed it had it not been for the dark fin cutting through the water… Circling,
His cold words still echo through the alcoves of my heart… “You’ll have to earn your roses. It’ll take at least 7 years!” I had assumed that he just wasn’t a “flower” guy. Valentine’s Day, our anniversary, birthday, even the loss of our unborn baby hadn’t brought flowers so he must just not be that
One of my chores was to water cows every day during the summer. I’d load up the kids in Old Bones (that’s what I named the water truck) and we’d head down the dusty country road, through town, up a steep hill then into the bumpy field. On the far edge of the field where
Tomorrow's Horizon 